Male or female, straight or gay, you are fascinated with boobs! Obviously, we have natural instincts to take note of mamillary glands, but in the modern world, they go way beyond vessels for providing infantile sustenance. Just like women, they're available in every shape and size, and just like women, breasts are notoriously insecure.
Bulbous or petite, women are almost never happy with what nature gave them. Just like the curly-haired girl wishes she had straight hair, and the tall girl wishes she were shorter, it seems like what we have is never what we want. As a woman with straight hair will spend an hour going curly and a short girl is devoted to her platform heels, women are struggling to make the best of their chests.
So which is, actually, empirically better? AAAs or FFs? Is there a perfect size? And what do men actually like best?
DRESS: Small breasts simply have more options. Cowl necks, plunges, backless numbers; women with small breasts can not only choose from a bevy of options, but are perfectly free to go braless! If you're over a C, you need an ample strap, negating your ability to wear even a simple camisole. Cowl necks are overzealous, possibly making you look less than classy, and NASA needs to build a bra if you want to go strapless or take the plunge in front or back. Although a small-breasted woman may find it difficult to fill some cups, they're few and far-between.
It's also hard to find clothing in the correct size when your chest is big and you are small. Finally, when you're above a D, you're stuck shopping at expensive boutiques to find bras that actually fit. There's no walking into La Senza and grabbing 3 new bras for $20. Verdict? SMALL.
MEN: It's no myth that men like tiny women. Modern men were raised on porn, and sadly, it's the porn body that is considered attractive. Men would simply love it if every woman was 120 lbs. and had huge boobs, but it's unlikely to happen. In a pinch, they're willing to go for big boobs and a larger figure or tiny and a flat chest. Since being thin is so in right now, I'm going to have to go ahead and admit defeat: SMALL.
SEX: When they're big, they're flopping around everywhere, hitting people in the face, and generally being your over-gregarious female cousins. Although they're not the most comfortable when you're on top, they are generally regarded as being pretty awesome to look at. I also have it on authority from one couple that they are feeling very left out of the sexual mix because her breasts are too small to wrap around his penis. Seriously, "tit fucking" is awesome and is a wonderful alternative to blowjobs and handjobs. You can pretty much just lie there pushing your breasts together and seeming interested and the guy thinks this is the best amusement park ride ever. Result? LARGE.
ATTENTION: Everyone is looking at them. Have you seen the episode of Sex and the City with the perky nipple inserts? Men go crazy for a good, hard nipple, no matter the size of the breast. However, short of inserts or a chilly environment, it's the big ones that really get noticed. Under a t-shirt and well strapped in, large breasts simply can't be ignored. There is still a certain stigma about large breasts in the business world, but modern people aren't so much writing off women just for having good jugs anymore (yay!). One friend who had breast reduction surgery found it hard to deal with the sudden drop in attention, which had always boosted her esteem. Who's getting all the attention? LARGE.
ATHLETICS: Again, you're looking at an investment when it comes to buying bras for athletics when you've got a large chest. Even with the best available model, you'll still be attracting stares as your jumblies get all, well, jumbly. Running, jumping, and even doing a downward dog, your attempts to get fit are always more tantalizing that you'd like them to be. Runner's choice? SMALL.
When I started writing this for you, I thought for sure that it would be a draw! I can only surmise that the millions of women upgrading their size are very interested in men and attention, because it looks like the small, champagne glass-filling breast is taking the cup.