Bulbous or
petite, women are almost never happy with what nature gave them. Just like the curly-haired girl wishes she
had straight hair and the tall girl wishes she were shorter, it seems like
what we have is never what we want. As a
woman with straight hair will spend an hour going curly and a short girl is
devoted to her platform heels, women are struggling to make the best of their
chests.
So which
is, actually, empirically better? AAAs
or FFs? Is there a perfect size? And what do men actually like best?
DRESS: Small breasts simply have more options. Cowl necks, plunges, backless numbers; women
with small breasts can not only choose from a bevy of options, but are
perfectly free to go braless! If you're
over a C, you need an ample strap, negating your ability to wear even a simple
camisole. Cowl necks are overzealous,
possibly making you look less than classy, and NASA needs to build a bra if you
want to go strapless or take the plunge in front or back. Although a small-breasted woman may find it
difficult to fill some cups, they're few and far-between.
It's also
hard to find clothing in the correct size when your chest is big and you are
small. Finally, when you're above a D,
you're stuck shopping at expensive boutiques to find bras that actually fit. There's no walking into La Senza and grabbing
3 new bras for $20. Verdict? SMALL.
UNEVENNESS: No breasts are perfectly symmetrical. The discrepancy is so much less obvious with a smaller set. Verdict? SMALL.
UNEVENNESS: No breasts are perfectly symmetrical. The discrepancy is so much less obvious with a smaller set. Verdict? SMALL.
MEN: It's no myth that North American men like tiny women. Modern men were raised on porn and sadly,
it's the porn body that is considered attractive. Straight, North American men would simply love it if every woman was
120 lbs. and had huge boobs. In a pinch, they're willing to go for big
boobs and a larger figure or tiny and a flat chest. Since being thin is so in right now, I'm
going to have to go ahead and admit defeat: SMALL.
SEX: When they're big, they're flopping around
everywhere, hitting people in the face, and generally being your
overly-gregarious female cousins. Although
they're not the most comfortable when you're on top, they are generally
regarded as being pretty awesome to look at.
I also have it on authority from one couple that they are feeling very
left out of the sexual mix because her breasts are too small to wrap around his
penis. Seriously, "tit
fucking" is awesome and is a wonderful alternative to blowjobs and
handjobs. You can pretty much just lie
there pushing your breasts together, seeming interested and the guy thinks
this is the best amusement park ride ever.
Result? LARGE.
ATTENTION: Everyone is looking at them. Have you seen the episode of Sex and the City
with the perky nipple inserts? Men go
crazy for a good, hard nipple, no matter the size of the breast. However, short of inserts or a chilly
environment, it's the big ones that really get noticed. Under a t-shirt and well strapped in, large
breasts simply can't be ignored. There
is still a certain stigma about large breasts in the business world, but modern
people aren't so much writing off women just for having good jugs anymore
(yay!). One friend who had breast
reduction surgery found it hard to deal with the sudden drop in attention,
which had always boosted her esteem.
Who's getting all the attention?
LARGE.
ATHLETICS: Again, you're looking at an investment when
it comes to buying bras for athletics when you've got a large chest. Even with the best available model, you'll
still be attracting stares as your jumblies get all, well, jumbly. Running, jumping, and even doing a downward
dog, your attempts to get fit are always more tantalizing that you'd like them
to be. Runner's choice? SMALL.
When I
started writing this for you, I thought for sure that it would be a draw! I can only surmise that the millions of women
upgrading their size are very interested in men and attention, because it looks
like the small, champagne glass-filling breast is taking the cup.